Lions & Tigers & Bears...Oh My!!!

Alice is afraid of Wonderland...

Don't make demands on me, yeah - I get *antsy* - let me determine my activities, diversions , distractions and delusions...

This I understand, but - as a human being - oh yes, and a GIRL - I reserve the right to be - well, *slightly* hypocritical. And so I am. A hypocritical GIRL...

See the issue is thus - I really REALLY have fallen like a tonne of old and dirty bricks for the even more *antsy* Daan, and am a little put out that I've fallen in love with someone that has bigger personal space demands and issues than I have - I dislike disparity, especially when it comes to being more desirous of someones company than they are of yours.

Good grief.

Scary, and scarier - Monsters even I don't know how to handle. Guns & Bombs Baby, Guns & Bombs...

Really though, I promised myself this would NEVER happen to me again - not after the last one. No names mentioned *coughrowancough*. That hurt more than fishing hooks though the eyes, really - not okay. not. But obviously I wasn't listening, or maybe I was - but certianly not paying attention. Kid in the back drawing on the desk while the teacher's not looking. And chewing gum, and making pea-shooters - but certianly, in no way at all...paying any kind of attention. Stupid Girl.

So, he's away for the entire Christmas period (that is, the active days 24, 25, 26 & 27)...and I tell myself this is FINE - I'm good & that utter rot. But we all know I'm talking out of my ass. And I miss him. And I hate it. Gah, gaaaaaah, gaaaaaaahhhhh. Fukkit. And it's not just that, it's the fact that for all of two weeks he was where I am - I went back over the messages - and he missed me, at least as much as I miss him - and then... I think he gots the "yips", though GAWD knows why. And I thought I was the burned one, I guess some are just more obviously so than others...

Anyway - I realised that this was making minimal sense - so it's better that I abandon the attempt RIGHT NOW - before I embarrass myself any further (not that I imagine - at this juncture - that's even possible).

Suffice to say, I miss him, I feel like a prat, but at the very least... I am a prat - WITH A PLAN... Oh yeah, and it's a GOOD plan too (your supreme highness, has any other kind?). So...

Plots, World Domination and AFI - oh the super emo-ness of it all. Hide the razor blades and pass the coffee.

Pass the love and hold the hate.
::Mandy::

I worry for the future of the human race...or NOT

Is it even *POSSIBLE* to be this STUPID and still be upright & breathing?!?... You know what hunny - you go ahead and shag that sweet lil bus boy silly - how can anything bad happen - and even if it did - baby, you're to f-king stupid to notice !!

F.A.I.L....

Lucky

I LOVE YOU BEBE - AND I WILL BE THERE, ALWAYS

Stupid Girl or : Dating the Reserved - Truly, Madly, Deeply

Coffee = Sanity... Especially after only 5 (or was that 4) hours of sleep - Sometimes, even with the "street cred" - I really HATE insomnia - merely because I'm not my usually *sunny* self (cough*lies*cough), on only 4 hours of sleep. It's truly ironic that my brain - which NEVER switches off, resides in my body - which CONSTANTLY wants to switch off... irony or just bad design, hmmm...?

So, peeves for the day : a) UNISA... b) UNISA... c) UNISA... and accelerated Degree programs, and LAZY ASSED MOFO's in the Registration Department, oh yes.. and we CAN'T forget - DECEMBER, the one month of the year in which it is ok to be as f-king lazy as you normally are with absolute impunity - 'cos "everyone" knows that "no-one" works during the HOLIDAYS - gah!!!!!!!! It's just a rumour that some of us are on a rather insane time frame - and that LOGIC would dictate that if you bloody well publicise that registrations are open from a certian date - that someone (heavens know SOME BLOODY ONE) is going to assume you really mean it - and get insanely frustrated when you process their registration for the new semester slower than a snail on sedatives - S.N.A.R.L (snarl, with teeth).

Sigh

Bebe slept over last night, Mom is in the Hospital :((( - so his company was SO welcome, empty house + worried heart = seriously sleepless Mandy, so thanks Daan - again, you rock!! (harder than Blade bebe, much harder).

But therein lies the rub...a rather large...rub. Did I mention I was a STUPID girl, yep - pretty sure I did. I always fall for those who's emotions are in solitary confinement, or those with walls thicker than MINE - and believe me, that's saying something... Maybe I like the isolation, or the pain or the bashing of heads or the breaking of nails - always known I was a masochist, but seriously ?? Anyway - I see this as a test for me, I am :: PATIENT :: , I am :: SELF ASSURED ::, I am *not* :: EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE::, I am ... so fucked... eeeep.

Not that there's anything to be done of course - too late, style of kidney-type thing... Already in love ,heart gone - given away, non-return policy... so... I wait, I waaaaiiiiitttt, lookit - me : waiting - lookit, lookit!!! And in the meantime, I try not to bleed on my books - they were expensive, and I probably need them... I still have to write Calculus, maybe bleeding hearts and Differential Equations are a match made in heaven - hey, I'm willing to believe that!!

(if only as an experiment in suggestibility)

Dog's don't get hoomin flu, and my Nescafe was bitter this morning

Mandy
aka : stupid girl ;)

I.NEED...

I could even arrange a *beg* - where I roll over, expose my belly and attempt to look winsome and cute??

Ah, well - the dream is often better than the, eh, cream??

Further down the Poodle's Ass...

...Akin to the rabbit hole - only marginally less pleasant and mostly consisting of trying to find your way out :( - Curse you Rhinovirus, curse you!!!

Snot, crummy tissues and peanut butter toast - what a wonderful way to spend a Public Holiday - pah!! I could have been engaged in much more fruitful persuits, such as investigating Daan's tonsils (an insiders view) or... hmmm, possibly conducting experiments in tension-compression and weight ratios - always interesting to see what the maximum cuddle load would be before a) Asphyxia or b) Forceful stomach evacuation (oh charming Amanda - just charming).. but anyway. See. Much more fruitful, a genuine contribution to scientific study - or at least the study of hormones/ anatomy/ physiology etc - all deeply necessary to the furtherance of my medical edification... But NO - I am trapped here, behind my laptop - wrestling with a experiential case-study of virology, maybe with lashings of bacteriology - depending on exactly which bug it is currently holding fiesta in my nasal passages...

Oi, You - if you don't share the sodding Margarita's you are SO out of here...

Yes. Well. Cue Bubble Bath... possibly the only thing that's likely to do any good at all right now - except for a long suffering Boyfriend, a box of triple ply tissues and a bag (Family Fun Size, for preference) of Pink & White Marshmallows... Sense of humor restoratives - But then again, I'd probably only be spreading the plague - nasty little vector that I am right now... And poor Daan - way too sweet to do that to. So I get to sulk for the rest of the day. See.

SULK

SULK

And in case you missed the first two ... SULK.

Mandy is ::out:: - Cue random sub-routine, an endless loop of random garbage-ness. That is until I lever myself out of the bath and cease the torture of wallowing in my own misery (snot - an optional extra, but oh so FUN). Maybe then I'll be coherent enough to deliver another epistle in the gospel of My Life (capitalisation DEFINITELY required) - and we all know how fun, fun, fun that may proove to be...

Can dog's catch flu??

I started with you because...

A welcome would be in order, surely - well it would be - for those of us with any breeding whatsoever... This felicity of manners and grace is a state to which I am lamentably undersubscribed, so - perhaps not.

Well, really - it's actually because I have a little "sumtin, sumtin" to say - at least I do today, maybe tomorrow I will be more approachable - this is, of course, dependent on whether or not I still feel like a poodles asshole tomorrow - or not. I leave this gracious fate to the peculiar and pertinent powers of Ibuprofen and the voodoo-medicine of warm milk... but I digress. (whispers) - Focus, Amanda, Focus.

So, this blog was started as a confessional of sorts, and in response to a blog created by my other (better) half - which I had the joy of perusing during my (self created - for shame!!) leisure time at work - I was impressed, quite significantly so - and in order to appear at least a tich as eruidte as my sweet - I now blog, more bloggy goodness for the interwebs - are we all crying with gratitude - hmm, well, are we...?

Again - lead astray by the need to explain myself - funny how often that happens - either I lead a very complicated life - or I complicate matters unnecessarily - both are equally likely, and so we'll go with both - if only to GET TO THE GAWDDAMN POINT already... Right, yes...

So, this (rather long-winded) opening post is to officially explain myself (yet again) to my love, my lover and the self confessed thief of my rather battered heart. See I've been "psycho girlfriend" over the last two days - and that is NOT like me, well, not really - no, really - lol... Yes, well, so I apparently went all "Norman Bates" on his ass on Monday night (blush), and I did it because - wait for it - not for any VALID reason - oooo, no - but because - I'm so insecure I'm even convinced my ass grows at night JUST to spite me, and the spiders in the bathroom are laughing at me etc etc...

Details, I hear you say, well naturally - I have the soap-box now, do YOU see me getting off any time soon - ha ha ha, erm, right .... Details - see I may be just a "tad" of a Facebook wh-re, with a really distressing tendancy to want more commentary than God when he rescued the Israelites - yep, *cough attentionwhore cough*... and when the poor man had not even had a chance to SIT DOWN after work, let alone even LOOK at my bleeding profile , I went killer-chihuahua on him and berated the living sh*t out of him for the "perceived" slight, lack of attention - for SHAME!!!

So anyway, the point (again) of this entire waffle (cream, no syrup) is to categorically deny being any kind of "psycho -girlfriend" from the vaunted heights of my interweb pulpit - and to vow - all the way to my lil slippered toes - to be a good girl from now on... and save the "Shining" re-runs for real drama - not the kind we create on FB daily...

Now did I, or didn't I have any part of my body crossed with that assertion - hmmm...